Bouncing Back from Setbacks
As humans, we often think in binary terms such as “black and white” or “all or nothing”, rather than shades of gray. This tendency is called dichotomous thinking. When we are embarking on making behavior changes, we often fall into this trap. Eating and exercise are everyday activities where we tend to think this way. For example, if our exercise routine is interrupted for some reason, many of us have a difficult time resuming it. Or if we eat something that’s not part of our healthy eating plan, we might think, “Well, I’ve broken my commitment. I may as well take a break and get back to it later.”
If you’ve found yourself experiencing this thinking on your journey to making changes in your behavior, you’re not alone. Research shows that dichotomous thinking is one of the most powerful predictors of whether we abandon a plan to change our behavior.
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If you want to avoid falling victim to this type of thinking, the first step is to be aware of it when it happens. Since our thoughts drive how we perceive the world, they indicate how we’ll respond. In other words, our thoughts predict whether we’ll bounce back from a setback or give up on our goals.
When you have a slip-up or fall back into your old habits, take a moment to consider the following:
Reflect on why you set your goal in the first place. This reflection might remind you that having a healthy lifestyle is critical to living the kind of life you desire.
If you’ve been off your behavior change journey for a while, you might need to jumpstart it by taking baby steps. This might mean eliminating just one thing from your unhealthy routine or substituting a healthy behavior for an unhealthy one and gradually getting back to your plan.
Take a moment to realize that everyone experiences setbacks. After all, we are only human. We make mistakes, and what we did in the past need not determine what we do in the future. Sometimes all it takes to get back on course is to silently say, “I forgive myself. I’m ready to get back on my path to healthy living.”
If you still find that you’re having reoccurring negative thoughts about your ability to stay on track, here’s a brief exercise that might help you silence the critic inside your head.
When you notice you are having reoccurring negative thoughts, take a moment to refocus your attention by taking a few slow and even breaths.
Once you’re relaxed and calm, take a moment to bring some of those negative thoughts into your awareness.
Then ask yourself these questions:
Are these negative thoughts true?
If so, how do you know they are true? What evidence do you have that these thoughts are true of you now?
Take a moment to recall a time when you experienced a setback and were able to get back on track. Can you remember how you felt when you were able to do this?
Next, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter how many times you experience a setback if you get back on the journey. Isn’t that what’s important?
Finally, take a moment to consider how you feel as you visualize getting back on track. Does this feeling help put some distance between you and your negative thoughts? You might visualize these negative thoughts as leaves floating down a stream or clouds passing by.
Know that letting go of inner negative messages is a process. It may require that you repeat this exercise frequently, especially if these negative thoughts have been with you for a while.
Don’t give up. Negative thoughts need not stop you from pursuing your goals with patience and practice. Remember that changing behavior is not an “all or nothing” proposition. You have the power to get back on track and move forward.