Expect Setbacks
When we set out to achieve any behavior change, we have unrealistic ideas about success. Because we are very motivated to achieve our goals at first, we overcome obstacles and often succeed in our efforts. Then, when a setback occurs, we say to ourselves, “See, I knew I couldn’t do it,” and allow this setback to give us permission to go back to our previous unwanted behavior. If this happens to you, you are not alone. We are all susceptible to something called on/off thinking.
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On/Off Thinking
Humans often think in binary terms such as black and white or all or none. This tendency is called dichotomous thinking, or on/off thinking. Eating and exercise are everyday activities where we tend to think this way. For example, if our exercise routine is interrupted, many have difficulty resuming it. Or if we eat something that is not part of our healthy eating plan, we might think, "Well, I've broken my commitment. I may as well take a break and return to it later."
If you have found yourself experiencing this thinking on your journey to healthy eating, you are not alone. Research has shown that dichotomous thinking has been established as the most potent predictor of abandoning healthy eating habits. If you want to avoid this thinking, the first step is to know when this happens. Our thoughts drive how we perceive the world; they indicate how we will respond. In other words, our thoughts predict whether we will bounce back from a setback or give up on our goals. Try this practice to break the cycle of this type of behavior.
Find a quiet, comfortable location where you will not be interrupted.
Also, make sure you have paper and a pen nearby. If that’s not for you, you might try recording your thoughts on your phone or making notes on an electronic device.
Read through how to complete the practice before you begin.
You do not need to follow the instructions precisely for the practice to be effective.
Practice: Break the Cycle
Consider a time when you strayed from your healthy eating goals.
How did you feel when this occurred? Can you recall your internal dialogue? Was that dialogue helpful? Was it harmful and destructive?
Sometimes all it takes to get back on course is to say silently, “I forgive myself. I am ready to get back on my path to healthy living.”
However, if these negative thoughts continue, take a moment to refocus your attention by taking a few slow and even breaths.
Once you are relaxed and calm, take a moment to bring some of those negative thoughts into your awareness.
Then ask yourself these questions:
Are these negative thoughts real?
If so, how do you know they are real?
What evidence do you have that these thoughts are real?
Then, take a moment to consider a time when you experienced a setback and got back on track. Can you recall how you felt when you were able to do this?
Next, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter how often you experience a setback if you return on the journey. Isn’t that what’s important?
Now, take a moment to consider how you feel as you visualize getting back on track. Does this feeling help put some distance between you and these negative thoughts? You might try to imagine these negative thoughts as leaves floating down a stream or clouds passing by.
REFLECT/CONSIDER
Take a moment to recognize that everyone has times when they experience setbacks. After all, we are only human. We make mistakes, and what we did in the past need not determine what we do in the future. Just know that letting go of the inner dialogue of negative messages is a process. It may require that you repeat this exercise frequently, especially if these negative thoughts have been with you for a while. Don’t give up. Just know that these negative thoughts need not stop you from pursuing your goals with patience and practice.